


Nothing to Lose - Levi x Reader

by nerdy_armin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Comfort/Angst, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:48:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29097558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdy_armin/pseuds/nerdy_armin
Summary: Y/N's life has been anything but a breeze. Constantly fighting to survive, things change after they join the Survey Corps and are suddenly faced with new threats they couldn't dream of. But could a familiar face change things?In a world where everything is sacred, do they really have nothing to lose?
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 19
Kudos: 30





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!! Just wanted to jump in and say thanks for reading! Just a few quick housekeeping things:
> 
> First, this is set during the No Regrets era and moves forward from there. Second, this is a mature fic and will include heavy topics like violence, loss, and others but it will be prefaced in each chapter if it does happen! Third, Y/N in this series identifies as female and thus I'll be using she/her/hers pronouns! 
> 
> That's it! I hope y'all enjoy :)

Y/N has lived in the Underground her entire life. Her parents were never able to afford the luxury lifestyle they've always dreamed of nor even citizenship on the surface. When Y/N was born, those dreams became even more farfetched. But they had each other and for them, that was enough. Y/N spent a lot of time alone, with both her mother and father working tirelessly to help make ends meet. Her time in solitude, however, helped her become self-reliant. She did whatever it took to help ease the burden off of her parents, whether it was making dinner for them before they got home or helping clean around the house. It was one of the only things she could control.

As time went on, things didn't really get much easier. It always seemed like there was some sort of obstacle in their way. From increases in violence to illness to corruption, there was always something barring the L/N family from trying to get a citizenship on the surface. Life in the Underground is cruel and unforgiving. Y/N learned that lesson very early on and was reminded of it almost every day. But something was about to change and for the worse. 

"Mom? Dad? I'm home!" Y/N chimed in as she walked through the door with a small bag filled with a few fruits and vegetables and half a loaf of bread. The house was quiet. A little too quiet.

Y/N set the bag down gingerly on the counter as to not make a sound. She strained her ears for any noise to show that her mom and dad were home. She heard a few faint sniffles from upstairs and a familiar creak of the hardwood floors of her parents' room. It wasn't strange for her parents' to be asleep when she got home from the market. After all, working multiple jobs wears even the strongest people out over time. But things just felt....off.

Y/N lightly jogged up the stairs and quietly approached the door to her parents' room, still listening for any clues to queue her into what was happening. But still, the only sound she could hear was still the faint sniffles. Y/N quietly knocked on the door, almost scared to interrupt whatever was going on.

Y/N heard a quiet gasp, a few more sniffles, and some quick-paced steps before she heard her mother call out, "Come on in, Y/N."

As Y/N opened the door, she saw her mother standing by the window, tissue in hand, and her father in bed. This would generally be normal but Y/N noticed the cold sweat across her father's brow and his skin was pale. Paler than the usual Undergrounder. 

"Mom, is everything alright? What's going on?", Y/N pressed as she entered the room.

Just as Y/N's mother was about to answer, her father let out a gruesome cough that racked through his entire body. Y/N's eyes grew wide before she quickly ran to her father's side and held his hand, pleadingly trying to look into his eyes only to find that they were closed.

"He's been like this since last night, Y/N", her mother whispered under her breath solemnly while still staring off out the window in a daze.

Y/N didn't know how to react as a million questions and emotions flooded her mind. 

How did she not notice this sooner?

Why didn't her mother mention this earlier?

Could they even afford to take him to the hospital?

"Mom-- I... Why didn't you tell me? Why haven't you taken him to the hospital yet?", Y/N asked frantically trying to come up with solutions.

"Y/N-- we can't afford to take your Dad to the hospital. The last of our money went to the groceries....", her mother trailed off. A single tear rolled down her face yet she didn't bother to wipe it away with the tissue and instead letting it fall to the old floor.

Y/N rose from her father's bedside and went to her mother only to find that her eyes were more sunken in than usual and her eyes were red and puffy as if she had been crying all day. Y/N took her mother's hands in hers and turned her body away from the window and rubbed her arms lovingly, trying to save face as much as she can. 

"Mom I--I can take some extra jobs this week and scrap together something, but please", her eyes pleaded with hers, "we can't let him go out. Not like this. I still haven't gotten you guys to the surface, like you've always dreamed."

Y/N's voice cracked and wavered as her father let out a cough that was worse than the last.

"Y/N...."

Y/N's head whipped around as she saw her father's hand reaching centimeters off the bed as if he was trying to beckon her but his frail state wouldn't let him.

Y/N quickly let go of her mother as she ran to her father's side and took his hand and immediately placed a chaste kiss on his knuckles, a teardrop fell from her eyes and moistened the dry, white skin along his wrist.

"Y/N it's time... not even the Underground doctors could help fix this", he said weakly, "We all know our days here are numbered..."

"And you still have many more left, Dad", Y/N began, letting her emotions take control, "I promise you I'll-- I'll do whatever it takes, Dad. I can't lose you."

Her father weakly smiled at her before breaking into another fit of coughs that made Y/N wince. Seeing her father in this much pain brought a chill to her bones. Stefan L/N was one of the strongest men that Y/N knew. He taught her everything she needed to survive in the Underground. 

While her mother, Irene L/N, taught her how to read, cook and sew, her father taught her self-defense, Underground street smarts, first aid, and how to find jobs quickly. Life in the Underground was fast-paced and cut-throat, you had to fight just to make half a decent pay. With limited resources, no sun, and poverty wherever you looked, it's only a matter of time before Death catches up with you. Only the lucky and the rich ever make it out. Mostly just the rich.

"I can't lose you...", Y/N repeated to herself, "I won't lose you."

Y/N gingerly placed a kiss on her Dad's head as his eyes fluttered shut and he fell back into his restless sleep. Helplessness is such a gut-wrenching feeling, it felt like a million knives going through her at once. As she rose to her feet, Y/N gazed over at her mother who had turned back to staring out the window.

"I'm going to fix this. I won't let Dad die, Mom", Y/N said as she walked to the door, her eyes drilling into the ground fighting back tears. As she left the room, she quietly closed the door before going to her room to grab a few things.

Her room wasn't big. Some wouldn't even call it a room, but more like a closet. It barely fit in a bed, with a small nightstand at the foot of it. She opened the top drawer to grab her knife that her father passed down to her. She usually never left home without it, especially when out on a job. She tucked the knife into the backside of her waistband and put on a jacket as to hide the slightly protruding handle and left soon after. She stopped outside the door of her parents' room once again, knowing that her mother heard her footsteps, and sighed longingly before heading back down to the kitchen and out the door. Y/N had a mission that she could not fail.

Jobs in the Underground don't offer decent pay, so one usually has to take up at least three to be able to afford some basic necessity. But Y/N knew she didn't have that much time. She knew her father didn't have that much time. Drastic times leads to drastic measures. 

Y/N drew her hood up over her head as she knew what she had to do. She prefers to live an honest life but when someone's life is on the line, especially someone she cared about, risky actions had to be taken. Y/N was a gifted pickpocket, something she had picked up from a young age. What started as sneaking an extra apple from the fruit cart over time turned into an inconspicuous run-in leaving a stranger a few coins lighter. Like they say, life in the Underground, right?

Y/N wandered through the labyrinth of streets searching for the perfect target. The streets were busy as people wandered around, some in a rush and some taking their time. Y/N's eyes scanned the crowd before her eyes landed on two cleanly dressed gentlemen at a bread stall. Cleanliness was a luxury that not many can afford, so it was a safe bet to assume that they had a few coins to spare.

Y/N made her way to the stall and trying to time this just right. Just as she was a few meters away from her target, she tripped over a cobblestone and collided with the man closest to her. The collision sent both toppling to the ground, with her landing on top of him.

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, sir! I didn't see the uneven stone and with my limp leg I--", Y/N began her rehearsed lines.

The man simply laughed, his dark blonde hair falling in front of his eyes, "Not a problem, it's fine", he said as he began to sit up as she rolled off of him. 

Y/N's hand quickly slipped into his coat pocket and felt the smooth metal of the coins she needed. As she continued to roll off of him, she quickly swiped the coins and put them into her own pocket before getting to her knees. She brushed off the dirt from her coat while the man she knocked over got up to his feet. She saw a hand come down to offer her up, and she took it with a meager smile.

"Again, mister, I am so sorry... please let me buy you a loaf to make up for it!", Y/N continued.

Again, she saw the man chuckle and raise his hands apologetically, "No need."

She heard a faint, "Tch" from the dark-haired man standing behind him, and the blonde turned and gave him a look before continuing, "You should get your leg checked out though."

Y/N simply shook her head while sadly smiling, "I can still walk can't I?"

"Clearly not", she heard the dark-haired man remark but she brushed it off as her plan was almost complete.

Y/N simply shot both of the men a tight-lipped smile and began to limp away past the stand, moving slowly enough so that the numerous coins she snagged didn't jingle as she walked but quick enough as to not arouse suspicion. She continued walking past a few more streets before she turned into an alley, checking to make sure that the two men didn't follow her.

She didn't see anyone.

Y/N breathed a sigh of relief. She quickly jogged further down the alley before ducking into a little nook and pausing to catch her breath. She dug her hand into her pocket to count how many coins she had managed to pull. As she drew her hand out, she saw a glimmer of gold and her eyes widened in shock. She managed to pull five gold coins, something that would've taken her five jobs to earn. She was close to actually getting a decent doctor and medicine for her father. She let out a quiet chuckle of relief before stuffing the coins into the front pocket of her pants, where she knew it was harder to steal from.

Y/N exited from the other side of the alley and continued down a new street to find her next target. Sure the gold coins from the blonde stranger lightened the load but it still wasn't enough. As she continued toward the boxes of goods being set out by the Military Police, she had identified her next target: a man of tall stature wearing what seemed to be a tailored jacket. This could possibly be the one that could help Y/N afford the help her dad needs.

Y/N began her approach to her target but something felt a little off, as if someone was watching her. She quickened her pace slightly but was unable to shake the feeling off her. She just shook her head and brushed the feeling off as paranoia, a usual feeling in the Underground. Y/N didn't get too far until she left a strong force yank her right arm and drag her into an alley. She was forcefully thrown against the wall and before she even had time to draw her knife, another was already pressed up against her throat. Looking up from the blade that was digging into her throat, she was greeted with a familiar head of dark hair.

Y/N's eyes widened in panic as she began to try and wiggle her hand around her back to find the handle of her knife until she heard a voice. It was the blonde man she had pickpocketed earlier.

"I'll admit", he started off with a little bit of a chuckle while coming around to her field of vision, his silver-blue eyes twinkling in amusement, "I almost didn't notice. Almost."

By this time, the mystery gentleman had come around to her side. Y/N's eyes flickered to and from the silvery eyes of the blonde to the piercing blue eyes of the brunette.

"I don't know what you're talking about", Y/N began while trying to wiggle out of the blade against her throat but wincing when it dug in deeper, but not enough to draw blood, "I've never seen you two before."

The two males simply gazed at each other before the brunette laughed, "Interesting... did you hurt your leg before or after you collided with Furlan?", while his head slightly gestured to the blonde standing to her left.

Y/N puffed out her chest a little to make room for her hand that was slowly inching her way to her knife, she knew she just had to buy a little more time.

"I swear, whoever you are... and Mr. Furlan, you must have me confused with some other girl", she stated while her eyes found Furlan's, and she silently pleaded with his. But his eyes just gleamed with humor.

"Tch", the brunette chimed, bringing her attention back to him. The intensity she saw in his eyes was unmatched. A dark sea of emotions was brewing behind his piercing eyes and his face remained cold and unfeeling, "Then what's this?"

The brunette then reached into the front pocket where Y/N had safely held onto the coins, his eyes never leaving hers. Y/N felt a weird mix of emotions: shock, disbelief, and even a strange and strong desire. The intensity of his unrelenting gaze, the cold blade against her warm skin, the strong arm reaching into her pocket and keeping her firmly rooted against the wall, was enough for her to feel some way about this man. After snapping out of her thoughts, her eyes quickly dashed to Furlan's gaze and quickly hardened to anger as she flicked her gaze back to her captor. Just as his hand closed around the coins, Y/N's hand closed around the handle of her knife and she quickly kneed the brunette causing him to briefly double over and lose the grip on the coins and his knife.

Y/N took Furlan's and the brunette's surprise to her advantage as she sprinted through the alley, using the heavy boxes that lined the stone walls to her advantage to gain some height and distance between the two. She used her new height to jump onto Furlan's back, who was trying to make sure the brunette wasn't hurt. This time, Y/N wrapped her legs around Furlan's waist and pressed her blade against his throat.

Furlan put his hands up in surrender as the brunette got up into a defensive stance, his knife at the ready and his face visibly angry, but there was something more in his eyes that Y/N couldn't put a finger on.

"Let him go, you brat", the man snarled at you.

"Now now, Levi, let's be nice", Furlan tried to reason, "I don't think she wants to hurt me."

At this comment, Y/N's face softened for a second. It's true, she didn't want to hurt anyone. But she wouldn't hesitate to if it meant that she'd be able to help her father.

"Now, let's just all calm down and talk this out like adults", she heard Furlan say from beneath her.

Y/N's eyes flickered to the named stranger's, Levi's, and she raised an eyebrow at him. Her face cold and collecting but her E/C eyes taunting and practically begging him to try something. She saw his eyes leave hers and meet Furlan's so she purposely dug her knife a little deeper, feeling the slight tension as the knife broke through the thin layer of skin. She heard Furlan hiss in slight pain and she felt him wince beneath her before she felt Levi's hardened and enraged gaze upon her again.

"Levi..."

Levi's eyes met Furlan once more before he put his knife away but not once did a look of defeat cross his face.

Y/N released her hold against Furlan's neck and unwrapped her legs from his waist as she slid down. As her feet hit the pavement, Furlan stumbled forward and she saw him reach for his neck and chuckle softly as he saw the smear of blood on his hand. He quickly rubbed it off on his pants and turned so that both he and Levi were facing Y/N.

Y/N's stance was defensive as she sheathed her knife, but kept her hand close by in case one of them tried something. In case Levi tried something. She could see the hatred boiling in his eyes yet she was still entranced. She had never seen someone so agile and quick yet painstakingly precise. Her eyes tracked back and forth between the two before Furlan finally spoke up:

"Why did you pickpocket us?"

Y/N simply laughed and shook her head, "Well Furlan and Levi," she sneered slightly when she said the brunette's name causing him to take an angry step forward but Furlan blocked him with his arm, "I think it's funny how you expect me to answer that."

"Well, I think it's funny", Furlan started in a slightly mocking tone, "that you know both of our names but... we don't know yours." An amused gleam filled Furlan's eyes as he engaged in the banter.

"I don't see how that's relevant", Y/N began, "besides you won't see me after this lovely interaction is over."

"Tch you can't just leave", Levi growled as he broke through Furlan's hold and marched toward Y/N.

Y/N's hand instinctively gripped around the handle of her knife and stepped back, "I wouldn't recommend doing that, Levi", her words a venomous taunt.

Before Levi could advance more, Furlan stepped in, "Look, obviously, you wouldn't have pickpocketed us unless you were really desperate or really fucking stupid", he said in a low tone, trying to hold Levi back with a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "So just tell us why, or at least your name, and we'll let you go."

"Just like that?", Y/N said with a curiously raised eyebrow, not fully believing the offer.

"Just like that", Furlan confirmed.

Y/N's eyes landed on Levi's, testing him and the offer, and was greeted with the same cold gaze from earlier. Her defensive stance shifted to a neutral one, still on alert for any sudden movements, a silent agreement to the terms laid in front of her. 

With a sigh, Y/N began, "My father is very ill and on his practically on death's door, my mother can't afford a doctor and I couldn't just sit and do nothing", her eyes were trained on the ground in front of her. She couldn't be vulnerable in front of these strangers who were practically ready to slit her throat. "I couldn't let him just lay there and die", she finished while fighting the slight quiver in her voice, "Not yet."

The silence cut sharper than the knife that was pressed against her throat mere minutes ago as Y/N dared to lift her gaze to meet that of the two men across from her. Furlan's eyebrows were furrowed as deep contemplation filled his eyes meanwhile what seemed to be a flicker of recognition and pain flashed across Levi's eyes, gone just as quickly as it came.

After what seemed like an eternity, Furlan finally stepped forward and Y/N quickly stepped back, her hand poised above her blade before Furlan lifted his arms in a cautious and surrendering manner. Y/N let him approach but was still apprehensive before he stopped right in front of her. She had to lift her head slightly to meet his and found that he looked slightly sad, which left her confused. Why would a stranger, especially in the Underground, show remorse to someone who literally stole from them?

Before Y/N can come to an answer, Furlan spoke up quietly, "We can take you to someone who could help."

Y/N gasped lightly and was shocked at what she was hearing, "Are-- are you sure? This isn't some trick to try and murder me, is it?", she asked inquisitively. The offer seemed too good to be true.

Furlan shook his head, "No. It's hard enough to lose someone here in the Underground, but losing a parent is--", he couldn't finish his sentence. The grimace on his face said it all. 

Y/N took a second to weigh her options: try and fight her way out with the coins she already has and probably get injured in the process, or trust these strangers. Trust. Such a fragile thing. It's insanely rare to come across in the Underground, and such an easy possession to let slip through your fingers. As Y/N pondered her options, she could practically feel Levi's gaze burning through her. As she finally made her choice, she didn't meet Furlan's eyes but Levi's.

"Fine", she replied coldly, "I'll let you help me."

"Tch, as if you had much of a choice", Levi responded before turning around and starting to leave the alley. His posture was tall and almost... regal. He carried himself with such poise and power that you could tell that he was not the kind of person people stand up to like you did. And yet in that moment of her vulnerability, he seemed almost humbled. As if the thought of losing a parent struck a deep chord in him.

Y/N shook off her thoughts and began to follow Levi out the alley with Furlan trailing by her side.

"The name is Y/N, by the way", she said while keeping her eyes trained in front of her, seeing Levi's head turn slightly in her direction and a soft yet irritated "Tch" was the only acknowledgment that he heard.

"Well, Y/N, let's go get that doctor", Furlan said with a loose-lipped smile and then he leaned in close to whisper, "You can keep the change."

Y/N simply smiled in response and walked through the streets of the Underground with a glimmer of hope, but made sure to keep her expectations about her. Yet deep down, she prayed to whatever was out there for this to work. She had everything to lose.


	2. 2

As the three weaved through the streets of the Underground, Furlan tried to make light conversation to try and diffuse the tension.

"So, Y/N, how did you become so good at pickpocketing?" he asked curiously.

Y/N shot him a strange glance, not really understanding why exactly he was trying to get to know her but she allowed herself to indulge him, "I guess I just started really young with the little things, you know? An apple from the fruit cart, a small loaf of bread from the edge of the table", she continued as her eyebrows furrowed slightly in concentration. She's had to steal so many times, though she doesn't like to admit it, to help out her family. Anything to help make ends meet. "And soon enough, I just worked my way up. I try to lead an honest life but--"

She was cut off with what seemed like a snicker from the brooding man leading them, "Such an honest life you lead."

Y/N simply huffed and rolled her eyes, "I guess you wouldn't understand, having both parents working multiple jobs just to try and stay afloat in this hell hole. Helping in any way is something that I can control, one of the few things you can control anyway."

She saw the brunette tense up at the mention of parents but he didn't stop moving. The tension rested in his shoulders and neck so it was very easy to miss to those who aren't familiar. The tension was the same one she shared whenever she thought about what life would be like if she suddenly lost her mother or father. She shuddered at the thought, causing Furlan to give her an inquisitive glance but he knew well enough not to prod.

"But to address your concerns", Y/N drew out a little sarcastically, "I only pickpocket when I absolutely need to. I'm more than just some filthy street rat."

Furlan let out a chuckle which confused Y/N to which he simply shook his head and continued his path. They continued to walk in silence for a bit until curiosity overtook Y/N as well, "How did you realize I had pickpocketed you?"

Furlan's eyes darkened slightly and he dipped his head in slight shame as a sad smile crossed his face, "I actually didn't notice", his head then gestured to Levi up ahead, "He's the one that knew something was up."

Y/N's eyebrows shot up in slight surprise. She didn't expect him to be so observant, as most people usually aren't. She was pleasantly surprised but deep down she felt a bit of remorse. Being on guard like that isn't something that comes naturally, it's something that is heavily ingrained through years of fighting to survive. Yet Levi wasn't the type of man who looked like he's been through the wringer. 

"The Doctor is up ahead", Levi snapped causing Y/N to lose track of her thoughts.

Y/N was about to rush forward and run straight through to the doctor but a firm yet gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her. She turned to give Furlan the most incredulous look she could muster but he softly smiled before explaining, "Let us handle this, he's a...", he started while looking to Levi for guidance.

"He's a family friend", Levi finished while knocking on the door of the house in front of him.

Y/N looked curiously between the two, as the two didn't look related in the slightest but was quickly interrupted by the door opening and a small man stood softly smiling in the doorway.

"Ah, Levi, Furlan, to what do I owe the pleasure?", the man asked. He had kind eyes that landed on Y/N's before moving on to take in both Levi and Furlan, "My how big you boys have gotten."

Furlan chuckled while Levi rolled his eyes, "We need your help, Dr. Kranz. Our.... friend's father is gravely ill", Levi hesitated on the way to describe Y/N to the doctor which only caused him to shoot her and Levi an inquisitive look. Levi must've shot another look right back because the doctor simply sighed and looked to Y/N.

"Well, Miss, I can certainly try my best", he gave a tight smile as he nodded at the two boys and quickly went back inside his house to grab his bag. It wasn't long before the doctor exited the house with his coat and bag, looking at Y/N and Furlan to guide the way. Furlan just looked at Y/N and gave her shoulder a slight squeeze before she turned on her heel and set a quick pace back to her house.

When they arrived, Y/N abruptly stopped in front of the door and quickly glanced at the doctor before chiming, "It's right here, sir". She opened the door and let him in and was ready to bar the door to Furlan and Levi. She had only met the two today and was not about to let them have an intimate view into her home life more than they already had but to her surprise, they simply nodded at her, turned around, and leaned against the stone wall. She quickly shook away her shock and turned to show the doctor up to her parents' room.

"Mom? Dad? I'm back...", Y/N trailed off before taking in the sight in front of her. The furniture, though sparse, was tossed around and the groceries she had gotten earlier were strewn across the floor. Panic flared up inside Y/N as she raced up the stairs, not giving herself time to think of the worst. She didn't knock as she barged into her parents' room, panting and with a crazed yet worried look in her eyes. What she saw sent an uncomfortable chill down her spine.

Her mother kneeled beside the bed, holding her father's hand. She could see her mother's chest heaving and it wasn't long before the sound of her sobs reached her ears. 

"M--Mo--Mom?", Y/N asked as her voice cracked and tears brimmed her eyes. She slowly began to walk toward her mother, each step feeling like she was dragging herself through the mud. Her heart leaped up to her throat as she saw her father, lying in bed. His chest was not moving. Her mother hadn't moved and Y/N could still hear her quiet, muffled sobs against her father's hand. Y/N was paralyzed. The world began to spin and her mind began to race a million thoughts a second. She turned to see the doctor in the doorway looking solemnly at the scene playing out in front of him.

Y/N couldn't even get the words out because when she opened her mouth, the only thing that came out was her wrecking sobs. The doctor just gazed sadly as her eyes pleaded with his. He finally left the doorway and made his way to the lifeless figure before them. He gently placed two fingers on the pulse point on her father's neck and waited a few seconds before he looked up at Y/N and just shook his head.

"I am truly sorry, Miss", he began quietly, "I... I have never seen a strain of this illness this deadly in quite a while."

Y/N had to fight to keep from losing focus. She needed to be there for her family. For her mother. She needed to be the thing she could control. Y/N couldn't bear to look at the doctor and simply nodded before asking, "Was he in pain, Doctor?"

The doctor simply put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, causing Y/N to finally look up to meet his remorseful gaze, "Was he in pain when he passed?", Y/N continued with a sad yet disconnected tone.

There was a pause before the doctor answered, "No, Miss, he... he was not in pain."

Y/N knew this was a lie. Seeing her father hours ago fighting for his life, seeing the pain as his own body was trying helplessly to get better, she could only imagine the world of pain he was in. Yet Y/N chose to accept the lie blindly because the thought of her father helplessly in pain drove knives into her heart. She couldn't let her father go out that way. Y/N quickly wiped the tears that were forming in her eyes as she placed a gentle hand on her mother's shoulder. She didn't react to her touch.

"Mother, I am-- I am so sorry", Y/N's voice quivered quietly. Guilt filled her body as she realized that her mother was here for her father's final moments. She was there alone. Y/N bit her lip to keep more tears from springing up but it was in vain as her mother finally turned to her, with a bittersweet smile but a deep sadness in her eyes.

"He never lost hope, Y/N", her mother started, "You taught him that. You gave him the peace he needed to finally go. He didn't want you to be here because he knew you'd blame yourself. You were always so strong for us, my darling." Her mother's eyes shone with tears as some slid down her face, "Now I need you to be strong for you, Y/N. I need you to go and survive. Don't live your life trapped as we did."

Y/N shook her head as her brows furrowed in confusion and a little bit of fear, "Mom, what are you saying? I can't just leave you--", she was putting the puzzle pieces together in her head, "You're the only family I have left."

Irene L/N took her daughter's hand in hers, "That's where you're wrong, Y/N. You have your father, and you will always have me. As long as you can feel this," she placed Y/N's over her heart, "In here," then she placed Y/N's hand back on her own heart, "then you will always have us."

Tears were threatening to spill as Y/N just held her mother's hand in hers, "Mom--"

Her mother simply shook her head and looked regretfully at the doctor, "I do not have much longer, do I?" she asked.

Y/N looked at the doctor in disbelief before he quietly answered, "The... the more time you spend with a contaminated patient the higher the risk of catching the illness..." 

Y/N looked at her mother in a panic before realizing that she has been in this room, with her father, all day today and even yesterday, "Mother no--", Y/N barely choked out.

Irene's eyes pleaded with hers and quietly begged her to listen. Y/N's eyes scanned her mother's for any sign, any sign at all of a hint that she should stay. The only thing she found was bittersweet love and pain. Y/N let out a choked sob before quickly stifling it with her hand, "I love you, Mom", she managed to get out between quiet sobs. Before her mother could protest, Y/N fell on her knees and embraced her mother in a hug, and to her relief and surprise, her mother hugged back tightly. But it wasn't as tight as any other hug.

As they both pulled away, Irene cupped Y/N's face in her hand and Y/N leaned into the soft skin against her face, placing a gentle kiss on her palm. Irene looked at Y/N one last time before saying, "We are so proud to have a daughter like you."

Before the sentimental moment could go on longer, the doctor quietly cleared his throat, indicating through that singular guttural sound that it was time to leave. As Y/N got up, she felt her mother place something in her hand and close it. Looking at her with teary eyes, Y/N's mother watched as she cast one last look at her father, who finally looked at peace, before kneeling down at the bed and holding Stefan's hand for the last time.

The doctor gently guided Y/N out the door and shut it quietly behind them and the pair slowly began making their way to the kitchen. Each step echoed in Y/N's head and with each step she felt more and more guilty. She should've been there. She should've been stronger. It should've been her. Just as Y/N and the doctor arrived in the kitchen, the doctor gently placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Pardon me if it is not my place to say, but I know the boys outside very well", his face scanning hers but her face just seemed distant, "They can take you under their wing."

At the mention of joining them, Y/N's eye's finally met the doctor's and she scoffed, "Well, Doctor Kranz, I'm not sure if I would like to..." she trailed off with her eyes becoming distant.

The doctor simply shook his head, "The Underground is ruthless. It takes much more than it gives. But when it does give you something," he said while gazing out the window to the two boys still outside, "You hold onto that, and never let go." With that, the doctor patted Y/N's hand gently and walked out the door where you saw the two guys straighten up at the sight of the doctor. With one solemn shake of his head, the pair understood. Curiously enough, as the doctor left, the duo didn't follow. 

Y/N gazed around the space that once was filled with happy memories but now only stung with pain and took in a shuddering breath. She didn't notice that she had let a few tears fall from her eyes until she felt them at the bottom of her cheeks. She quickly rubbed them off as she slowly made her way to the door. With one final breath in, she stepped out onto the street and quickly began walking in the opposite direction of which the boys were facing.

Determined not to let them see her in such a vulnerable state, she began to quicken her pace but was abruptly stopped by a hand on her shoulder, "Leave me alone Furlan, you've helped more than enough", Y/N said barely above a whisper.

"Oi, listen to me"

Y/N was shocked out of her slight trance as she turned to see that it was not Furlan's hand on her shoulder but Levi's.

"You're coming with us", Levi said curtly, forgoing any insult this time, much to Y/N's surprise as he quickly turned on his heel and began to leave.

Furlan saw Y/N's confused and shocked stare and stopped Levi before he could get too far and walked up to Y/N, gently placing both of his hands on her arms, "Look, Y/N, there is nothing I could possibly say to make things easier for you right now. A loss like this is an unimaginable reality that we face each day in the Underground. But we also have a choice, we have something we can control," he said which earned a curious glimmer in Y/N's eyes, "You can choose your family. You can choose to let yourself be overcome by grief. You can choose whether you want to survive or die."

Furlan's eyes were staring deep into hers with a pleading sense of urgency, "Y/N you need to choose to survive." His arms gave hers a final squeeze as he dropped his gaze down to your hand, which was holding something. He quickly stole a glance at Levi who noticed the same thing and made his way back to them. Furlan backed away to give Levi and Y/N some space and Y/N's spaced gaze landed on Levi's sharp eyes and was surprised to see that this time his eyes were a lot gentler yet firm.

"Look, we can't guarantee anything in this life. You will die," Levi started bluntly, "Attachments are worthless because everyone you love will die."

"Levi I don't think--"

"So now is not the time to grieve. You'll have enough time for that when you're dead. Right now, you need to survive. And quite frankly, your best chance at that is with us," Levi said while gesturing his head back toward Furlan, who stood there gaping slightly at them.

Y/N looked down at her feet and noticed that there was something dangling out of the bottom of her hand. She gingerly turned her hand over and opened it to find that her mother's locket lied there, slightly ajar to reveal pictures of her and Y/N's father. Y/N lifted her gaze to meet Levi's only to find him looking at the locket as well. But when he noticed that she saw, he simply rolled his eyes and let out an annoyed "Tch" before walking back toward Furlan.

"Now's your chance, brat", Levi said while walking and not looking back, "What is it going to be?"

Y/N quickly glanced down at the locket, then up to Furlan, and then over to Levi's receding figure before finally walking toward them. Furlan's face lit up ever so slightly as he held out his hand while looking at the locket Y/N was holding. She simply nodded as she handed it to him and moved her H/C out of the way as Furlan gently clipped the necklace around her neck. Y/N smiled gratefully at him and was going to say something but not before hearing Levi calling from the front, "We don't have all night, Church!"

The pair simply looked at each other before Furlan quietly whispered, "I promise he gets better" which earned an inquisitive cocked eyebrow from you and making Furlan laugh.

"Oi, if I have to fucking say something to you brats one more time..."

Furlan cast a panicked look as they both jogged to catch up with the quick pace Levi had set and the three walked in silence. But only this time, it was a comfortable silence. Y/N made her choice. She was going to survive, no matter the cost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okie!! We have some flavor!
> 
> I'm sorry if this made yall feel things, I definitely felt them while writing this! I'm currently finishing up chapters 3 and 4 and will probably have them out Monday, Wednesday for sure!
> 
> But yeah hope y'all enjoyed :)
> 
> Like, comment, and follow my TikTok (nerdy_armin too!) for updates and things :)
> 
> See ya next time!


	3. 3

It has been a while now since Y/N decided to entrust her survival to two strangers, Furlan and Levi, she met when her pickpocketing scheme went awry. Not long after, her life seemingly changed for the worse. Seeing her father lie dead before her took its toll, but leaving her mother to die alongside him absolutely destroyed her. Furlan and Levi took Y/N under their wing, just like the doctor told her, and took care of her. She was surprised at how much grace they showed her, considering their less-than-optimal first impressions of each other.

Weeks and weeks went by and slowly, but surely, Y/N began to cope and recover. She grew to open up and rely on the two men and they became some of her closest companions. Furlan was gentle and soft-spoken but was not afraid to stand up for his friends should something happen. He showed a tender kindness that Y/N had only seen with her family, and she was grateful for his steady and calming presence.

Levi was an enigma to Y/N. He was cold and distant but over time, the two began to find solace in each other. Y/N never held out much hope in connecting with Levi, much less being vulnerable in front of him. Each time she tried to get him to open up, he merely replied with a "tch" or simply rolled his eyes before diverting her attention to something that needed to be cleaned. There was always something that was out of place or something that was dirty. It wasn't long before Y/N realized that this is what Levi had control over, this is what grounded him. 

Furlan and Levi seemed like complete opposites when Y/N originally joined them. Furlan was curious, slightly unassuming, and strives to find the best in people. Meanwhile, Levi was brooding and detached, and seemingly cared more about the state of a room or the cleanliness of his clothes than his relationships. Furlan was an open book to Y/N and opened up to her about his struggles of living in the Underground and even told her about how he met Levi in the first place. He had so many stories to share and yet when he reminisced, he had a calm and somber look in his eyes. His memories weren't so fond, but they shaped him into who he was today. 

"While it doesn't seem like it, he really does listen. That's how he shows he cares", Furlan stated while he and Y/N walked down the street toward the market stalls to bring some food back to their hideaway, "He's honestly too stoic for his own good sometimes, but he's kept everyone he cares about safe."

Y/N simply nodded as the two walked along the cobblestone streets, their footsteps echoing off of the stone walls around them. "That kind of stoicism usually stems from loss...", Y/N trailed off after pondering what Furlan told her, "So who did he lose?". Furlan didn't answer. The two walked in silence before they reached a busier section of the street and Y/N heard Furlan sigh.

"I'm afraid that isn't one of my stories to tell", he said with a sad glance before lightly nudging her with his elbow, "Ready to go, Y/N? Just like we've talked about and practiced."

Y/N simply nodded as she saw Furlan head down to the food stalls that lined the streets as she quickly put her hood up and quietly weaved her way through the crowd. 

Ever since Y/N joined the gang, the two men let her stay on one 'condition': that she helped them. They both admitted that she had a very valuable skillset and it could make all of their lives easier if they all worked together to survive. Y/N couldn't object. It was rare enough to find strangers willing to lend a helping hand once in a while let alone people offering to help her survive. Y/N knew that besides those two, she was on her own. She no longer had anyone to turn to. So, Y/N moved in with the two boys in their secluded hideout in a seemingly abandoned part of the Underground. From there, Y/N continued to finetune her pickpocketing skills and learn new ones such as advanced hand-to-hand combat, navigation, and how to properly clean a house.

The three of them actively engaged in crimes such as stealing from corrupt businessmen and the Military Police and occasionally took the risky job depending on the payout and what was involved. They got by but not without knowing that there was constantly a bounty or two over their heads.

Y/N reached her position and located her target: a large man with a table full of fruit, selling them for more than a fair price. Furlan and Y/N tailed this merchant for weeks, learning that he would purposely buy out the fresh fruit, wait until they were almost bad, and sell them at a steeper price. Furlan looked up from where he was and made eye contact with Y/N and they both nodded, knowing what needed to be done. Y/N quickly slipped into the shadows of the crowd once more and headed for the stall in question. She crouched as she got close and when she was a few yards away slipped onto her knees and quickly hid behind the wooden front.

Her small figure allowed her to squeeze into small places unsuspected. Considering most pockets, pant's or apron's, were at eye level, Y/N knew it wouldn't be hard to pocket a few coins. Y/N shrank and gingerly squeezed herself as tight as she could to the backing of the stall, avoiding the target's large legs pacing back and forth as he called out to customers. She sat and wait until she heard a familiar voice finally answer the merchant's calls.

"Ah, you look like a fine strapping young gentleman, could I interest you in some fresh fruit?"

Y/N shuddered at the thought of buying this fruit. It was practically one step away from rotting but she simply rolled her eyes and took in a quiet breath as she waited for the signal.

"Yes, sir, I was wondering if you could perhaps tell me how much these apples are?", Furlan chimed curiously. Y/N could see his slight shadow as he peered over the stall, trying to appear as if he was inspecting each piece of fruit that lied on the table. Apparently, the merchant bought into the ruse as he began to vigorously explain the prices of his fruits and explain how they were the freshest they'd ever find in the Underground. Y/N noticed the merchant's weight begin to lean forward, causing a slight opening in his pockets and that's when she heard the signal: two taps to the board which she sat against. She quickly took a deep breath in before gently sliding her hand into the merchant's pocket before her fist quickly closed around a pouch. She stayed like that for a spare millisecond and quickly pulled her hand, and the pouch, out of the pocket. She sat frozen and waited to see if the merchant had noticed. Seconds seemed to go by like minutes as Y/N strained hers to listen to Furlan and the merchant's conversation: nothing had changed. A small smirk grew across her face as she gave three soft raps on the board behind her, signaling to Furlan that she had the pouch and was ready to get out of there.

Y/N sat there and waited for Furlan's signal to get out of there. The longer she sat there the more nervous she got, knowing that if she got caught now there would be no easy, clean, way out. Finally, she heard Furlan start coughing and later felt the jostle of the stand. Several fruits toppled off the table and that was Y/N's queue to begin her escape. Furlan began to frantically apologize and offer to help the merchant collect the fruit, and even pay for it, but he was none the wiser. Y/N made it to the edge of the stand just as she saw the merchant begin to bend down to pick up a fruit that landed on his side of the stall. Y/N began to panic and quickly rushed out from underneath the stand, but accidentally bumped into it, causing more fruit to fall off and the merchant to whip around. His face reddened in anger and before he could reach out and grab her, Y/N flashed a bright smile and bolted away, disappearing right into the crowd. As the merchant turned back to deal with Furlan, he noticed that he too disappeared. The merchant scratched his head in confusion but shook it off when he reached into his pocket to count his money only to find that his pouch was gone. The realization hit him and he looked around angrily but in vain, as Furlan and Y/N since then have gotten far away from the stand.

Y/N quickly dipped into an alley and paused against the wall to catch her breath. This was the closest she's ever been to being caught and this was certainly the riskiest pickpocket she had ever attempted, but the risk paid off. She took the pouch from her pocket and emptied the contents of it into the palm of her hand and quietly began to count the gold coins that tumbled out with a quiet clang. She smiled when she realized that they had more than they expected and quickly shoved the coins in her pocket when she heard footsteps approaching.

"So, what's the payout?", the familiar blonde called out to her while flashing a bright smile to her.

"More than enough," she replied with a smirk. She pushed herself off the wall and walked to meet Furlan halfway and showed him the coins that glowed from the streetlamp above them. She saw his eyes widen and his smile got bigger than she had ever seen. Furlan chuckled to himself and rubbed the top of Y/N's head lovingly, causing her to jump back in mock disgust and shock, "Ew, don't touch me with those dirty hands, Furlan. First, you literally touch fucking rotting fruit, then that disgusting merchant, and then the coughing? You are absolutely filthy."

Furlan heartily laughed as the both of them began to walk through the alley, knowing that they needed to get moving, "You're getting worse than Levi, you know?", he joked with her.

Y/N gasped and playfully shoved Furlan in his side as you laughed along, "You take that back! You know he probably has some superpower and can hear everything we're saying and I don't want to be stuck with cleaning the bathroom this week."

The both of them continued their banter as they walked back to their hideout. To the regular passerby, they looked like two good friends enjoying the one spark of joy one rarely finds in the Underground. But unbeknownst to them, it ran much much deeper.

Y/N and Furlan finally made it back to their hideout and they found Levi sitting at the table sipping tea from his white china cup, "How did it go?", he said barely moving the cup from his lips.

Y/N smirked and tossed the pouch over to Levi, much to his surprise. It landed on the table with a noticeable thud, at which Levi shot the pair a curiously raised eyebrow before he set down his cup to open the pouch. His eyes widened and his mouth slightly gaped open, the biggest reaction Y/N has ever seen Levi give to anything, before he quickly regained his composure and nodded at Furlan and Y/N. His eyes strayed on hers for a second longer before he quickly turned back to Furlan and said, "The bathroom is filthy, I need you to clean it."

Y/N almost doubled over laughing while Furlan just looked between the two of them in disbelief, shook his head, and chuckled something to himself about superpowers before he left the room to get ready to clean the bathroom. Levi looked between the two confusedly as Furlan left the room and by the time Y/N regained her composure, she noticed that Levi simply huffed, rolled his eyes, and turned his attention back to his tea.

"I'm assuming you're going to want me to hold onto those for safekeeping?", Y/N asked as she approached the table only to be stopped by Levi's unrelenting gaze over the top of his cup. The two stayed frozen, engaged in a silent battle as her eyes scanned his for anything but came up empty. "Or not", she said a little defeatedly as her gaze finally left his and she turned around to head to her room. She had nearly left the room when she heard Levi call after her.

"You... you did good today, Y/N", he said while staring intently at his cup before raising his eyes to catch you smiling.

"Thank you, Levi. It means a lot", Y/N said before she turned around and made her way to her room before Levi could see the light pink tint that dusted her cheeks. Levi doesn't give out compliments, if at all, so when he did, it was a big deal. While Y/N's relationship with Furlan came easily, her relationship with Levi was more strained. Thinking back to Levi's words to her on that fateful day many months ago, Y/N knew that Levi was closed off for a reason. To survive. Being attached to anything so vulnerable and precious was a gamble. While Y/N and Levi haven't shared stories and talked for hours like she did with Furlan, she knew that Levi respected her. He let her strategize a few of their missions and always asked for her thoughts whenever he had an idea. He constantly pushed her past her limits in her training. While she hated it, looking back she was thankful for everything that he's shown her. This was how he showed he cared, by giving her the tools to survive. 

After Furlan had finished cleaning the bathroom, Y/N made dinner while Levi brewed another pot of tea. Food in the Underground was scarce, so ultimately they had to eat what they could get their hands on. For the last week, lunch and dinner were just a meager serving of boiled potatoes, a slice of bread, and a few apple slices. Y/N smiled gingerly as she brought the plates over to the table and set them down before going back to finally grab her plate. The two waited for her as she came back and finally dug into their meal as soon as Y/N was seated. No words were exchanged and the only sounds in the air were the sounds of forks scraping plates and the occasional clatter of a cup on the table.

"Oi, brat", Levi said in an annoyed tone causing Y/N and Furlan to look up concerned, "why is the potato still half raw?"

Y/N rubbed her face in frustration and annoyance, "Well, shithead, somebody didn't grab extra firewood so the fire wasn't nearly as hot as it needed to be, so suck it up", she said as she shoveled the potato in her mouth. Levi and Furlan were slightly taken aback by her aggressive reaction but Furlan gave Levi a silent look as if he was pleading with him to brush it off. "If you don't want it, then I'll eat it. Lord knows you're probably content with just your tea anyways," Y/N continued while not even lifting her eyes from her plate. Levi was about to say something before Furlan quickly cleared his throat.

"Maybe we can grab some extra wood tomorrow, right Levi?", he said calmly and staring down Levi in an attempt to diffuse the growing tension. Levi's eyes, however, were still drilling holes into Y/N's head as she continued eating as if without a care in the world.

"Tch, you better watch your tone with me, L/N. I've already been gracious enough to let you stay here and join us, I could've just left you on the street with your dead parents," Levi countered while taking a sip from his teacup. His comment caused Y/N's head to jerk up suddenly as she slammed her fork down against the table. Her eyes, gleaming with rage, battled with Levi's dismissing gaze in silence before she abruptly stood up from the table and stormed off to her room, but making sure to not slam the door. Even when Y/N was absolutely furious, she never slammed doors. Her parents taught her better than that.

Y/N paced around the room trying to release her anger through movement, but nothing seemed to work. She shook her head to herself in disbelief at the sheer audacity that Levi had. She has added so much to this team, and quite frankly they were lucky to have her. While Levi's compliments sent her soul to frolic among the stars, his insults sent her crashing down headfirst. After her continued pacing, to no avail, Y/N decided that she needed another solution. She needed to get away, and she knew the perfect space. She quickly walked to her window, opened it and climbed headfirst out, and began to pull herself up to the roof. She pushed her window closed with her feet and pulled herself up over the ledge and simply sat there for a moment while her feet dangled over the street below. After a few short minutes of rest, she got up to her feet and walked across the roof, and went to the spot that never failed to calm her.

Near the outside edge of the Underground was an opening to the surface. While it was barricaded by large boulders and she could only see the faint signs of life, such as moss hanging over the rocks or the occasional bird resting on the rock, this opening never failed to remind Y/N of her hopes and dreams to one day make it to the surface. It was so close and yet painstakingly so far. Y/N sat down on the ledge facing the opening and tucked her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs as if holding herself in an embrace. This is one of the moments when Y/N truly felt like she could let go. She felt her thoughts wander back to her family and their hope to have one day made it to the surface. A few tears silently ran down her face as she let out a shaky breath. Y/N sat there lost in her thoughts before they were interrupted by a set of footsteps growing closer. She didn't bother to move to see who it was, she wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody right now.

Y/N felt the shingles shift slightly as the person sat down next to her, but with enough space to let her know that their goal was not to intrude. The person just sat there in silence with her, taking in the moonlight reflecting off the boulders and into the vast Underground cavern.

"Seems like I'm not the only one who likes to come up here"

Y/N's head whipped around in surprise as she instantly recognized the voice: it was Levi's. She quietly huffed, rolled her eyes, and turned her gaze back to the opening in the cavern. He was the last person she wanted to talk to, or even look at, right now. The both of them sat there in tense silence, yet they were not uncomfortable. Y/N kept stealing glances at Levi only to find that his eyes were closed and for a brief moment, his face wasn't in his usual scowl. He looked at peace.

"Aren't you going to apologize?", Y/N quietly mumbled, tracing light patterns into her knee, something she did when she needed to ground herself. And at this moment, grounding herself meant exhibiting enough control as to not punch Levi right then and there. But Levi remained silent. Y/N saw his eyes dance across the cavern and the boulders as if trying to trace the moonlight to the sky above only to be thwarted by the cavern ceiling.

"Why are you so cold, Levi?", Y/N asked. Such an unprompted question caught Levi off guard as his head whipped to face hers in shock. Only this time he didn't bother to mask his facial expression before he sighed and turned to face her. Y/N was shocked to see Levi's gaze wasn't cold and unfeeling, but full of sadness. His sudden, and uncharacteristic, vulnerability made her do a double-take and she turned to face him fully, "Levi-- What happened to you?", she asked quietly.

The air was still and quiet and the two just sat there. Y/N didn't want to push him and suddenly have him close off and hide back into his cold and distant shell again. Levi's eyes were drilled into the shingles on the roof as he began, "My mother died when I was really young. I sat with her dead body in her room for almost a week before someone finally found me." His eyes never left the ground but Y/N could hear the slight quivers in his voice. This is the most vulnerable Levi has ever been in front of her, or probably anybody. "I never knew my father, didn't really have one. The one figure I did have....left."

"Left...?", Y/N asked cautiously, "Why did they leave?"

Levi simply shrugged his shoulders and finally lifted his face to meet Y/N's. Her eyes were filled with compassion and worry, something he hasn't felt from someone in years. Y/N met his gaze and saw a million emotions flicker through within a second: sadness, guilt, anger, disappointment before finally resolving into the stone-cold gaze she was used to. The both of them gazed off across the cavern, watching as the lights from windows and streetlamps twinkled and illuminated the city in dull amber light.

"That sucks ass", Y/N simply stated bluntly, which caused Levi to look at her as if he'd been slapped across the face.

When Y/N saw his face, she merely chuckled which lead Levi's confusion and frustration to deepen. Before Levi could say anything, Y/N quickly continued, "I'm sorry that your mother passed, that is truly unfortunate." She sat there in a brief silence, her hand reaching up to the locket she constantly wore around her neck, "Losing the people we get attached to, the people we love, it sucks ass. But is that really how you want to honor their memory? By being an ass yourself?"

Levi stared at her curiously, his eyes begging her to continue as Y/N simply continued to stare off across the city. 

"Seems like a sure way to die alone," Y/N continued on nonchalantly and almost distantly.

"Tch are you going to continue to insult me, Y/N?", Levi said angrily, "Where are you going with this sappy bullshit?"

Y/N turned to face him and rolled her eyes, "I'm not trying to insult you--"

"Well you're doing a fucking terrible job trying, you brat", he spat while turning away from her. Y/N had enough of his attitude so she reached out, grabbed Levi's jaw, and sharply turned it toward him.

"Stop interrupting, would you? And listen.", she said while her eyes held an intense gaze with his. Levi's mouth gaped open, taken aback at her forwardness but didn't say anything. Y/N took this as a sign to continue.

"As I was saying, I'm not trying to insult you, but I'm not going to baby you either. People hurt us, they fucking vanish, and it really blows. But you have to let go, let go of the pain", she continued while still staring intensely into his eyes, "But don't let go of their spirit. Let it fill you and guide you. Closing yourself off only does you more harm than good," Y/N concluded while finally softly letting go of Levi's face, "It also gives you gray hairs", she added in jokingly as she plucked a single white hair off his head causing him to snap out of the trance he didn't realize he was in and roll his eyes.

"I just want to protect the people I love. That is the thing I want to control but I find it always just beyond my grasp." Levi said barely above a whisper, his words striking a chord within her. The two of them were birds of a feather, Y/N came to realize. Y/N didn't say anything and simply nodded her head. The two of them continued to sit there in silence before Y/N reassuringly put her hand on top of his, resting gently on top of the shingles. 

Y/N expected Levi to snatch his hand up and shoot her a wicked glare, but it never came. Levi sat there, her hand on top of his, unmoving. Y/N felt tingles erupt all across her hand, taking in the sensation of her hand on his. Soft and reassuring, the touch put the both of them at ease, practically erasing the tension from earlier.

The two of them sat there, silent and unmoving, as they took in each other's presence. Y/N was surprised by Levi's vulnerability and continued to wonder about the complexities of the man next to her. Undoubtedly there was more on his mind, but his silence and the look of relief on his face told her that there will be a time and a place.

And for once Y/N could've sworn that she saw the ghost of a smile on Levi's face.

He was, for that moment, truly at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Sorry if Levi seems a little OOC but its for the character development! I think the Underground shapes Levi, but some actions that will happen later (*hint hint wink wink*) will mold him into the person we see during the S1 arc!  
> Anyways, let me know what you guys think :)  
> See y'all on Saturday!!


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the lovely comments you've left so far!! I am so glad you guys are enjoying the story as much as I am!!!  
> Quick little TW for this chapter: there are mentions of blood at the end, but nothing too graphic  
> Enjoy!

After their interaction together on the roof, Y/N finally began to see Levi in a different light. She didn't let the vulnerability he showed her think he was weaker but stronger. The similarities between the two began to appear more clearly as time went on. Since that night, Levi hasn't shown any vulnerability and would probably deny it if she asked. The strong front he puts up doesn't faze Y/N. Nevertheless, she continued to act as though nothing had happened between that fateful night.

Days went by as the group dynamic went back to normal after the outburst Y/N and Levi had at the table, much to Furlan's content. After the both of them came down from the roof, calm and collected and still in one piece, Furlan smiled and went to Levi to talk about the plans for the week. Y/N simply went to bed, exhausted from the long day that transpired, and fell asleep dreaming about the soft touch of Levi's hand on hers.

As Y/N woke the next day, she found the house was empty and there was a small note left on the table stating that they would be back later. Y/N simply sighed and looked around the house contemplating what she should do. She nonchalantly wiped her fingers along the table that the note lied on and rolled her eyes: it was covered in a light layer of dust. Surely if Levi didn't notice it before he left, he would certainly notice it when he returned. Fucking clean freak. Y/N sighed as she went over and grabbed a rag as she wet it slightly and got to work wiping down the surfaces and crooks and crannies of the room. One learns how to properly clean very quickly while living with Levi. Sometimes it felt like they would spend more time cleaning the house than buying stuff and doing jobs. But Y/N didn't mind. Cleaning provided her with space just to zone out so she could finally be alone with her thoughts. In a weird way, it calmed her. But today was not one of those days.

Y/N quickly finished wiping down any surface she laid eyes on before deciding that she wasn't going to be couped up all day, waiting for the boys to return like some housewife. Once she was done, Y/N went back to her room and put on her cloak and shoes before heading out the door, hoping to embrace any adventure she could find. Today she decided to take a stroll near the stairs that led to the surface. Usually, the people in that area were pretty well off so she could practice her pickpocketing so that Levi wouldn't chastise her for not only not cleaning, but going out and doing nothing all day. As Y/N walked through the crowds of people, she noticed that it was uncharacteristically busy. There were a lot of people who were straining their necks and trying to get a look at something on the other end of the street. Her interest was piqued as she silently weaved her way through the people until she got to where most of the crowd had gathered. Confusion dawned on her face as she only saw large crowds of Military Police, generally a normal sight in the Underground. Y/N was about to turn and leave, disappointed that the crowd was stupid enough to crowd these military shitheads doing their "job" until something shimmered in the streetlight and caught her eye. The Military Police was unboxing some kind of new metal gear. Now she understood why people were watching.

Y/N heard gasps from the crowd to her right as she saw the blur of a figure fly overhead. She ducked for cover and braced herself for some kind of impact but none came. When she looked up, she saw the familiar uniform of the MPs as a soldier was standing on top of a roof, which had previously been empty. The gear he was wearing along his waist looked bulky and made slight clanging noises when he moved. Y/N was absolutely intrigued, as she had never seen anything like it. Her mouth was opened in awe at the new technology that the MPs acquired. She quickly turned her head as she heard zipping noises to her left and saw two metal chords shooting out and anchoring themselves against a building and soon after saw another MP go flying to the roof. She shook her head in disbelief as her eyes flashed down to the gear, immediately knowing she had to get her hands on some. Y/N looked around, knowing that Levi and Furlan were nowhere to be found. She shook her head in frustration before she left in search of an alley to collect her thoughts and think of a plan.

Y/N dipped into an alley and paced back and forth, trying to come up with a plan. The gear was out in the open and relatively unguarded. Who knows what kind of security will be hovering over the gear later. If she were to steal it, now would be the best chance to do so. However, Y/N didn't have Levi and Furlan there to help. A plan this risky would usually be brought up to them and planned out over the course of weeks. But Y/N didn't have that time. She shook her head in frustration and banged her head against the wall, "Levi is actually going to kill me."

Y/N took one last look between the empty street that led home and the crowded street of civilians before she shook her head and headed off to find out where else the gear is. Coming up with a plan on the fly, Y/N knew she had to be absolutely inconspicuous. They weren't letting civilians get too close to the gear so she had to find another way around. She was lost in thought trying to figure out how to get close enough to even get a good look at the new tech before two MPs walked past her, bumping into her rudely.

"Watch where you're going, scum", one of the MPs spat as he turned in disgust.

Y/N just shot them a nasty glare as she turned and walked away, not really wanting to start a fight today. Then it hit her: the MPs. She turned around to see the MPs she ran into were walking away, laughing and talking loudly about something. She shook her head as her plan was finally coming to her, and quickly walked through the street to find what she needed for her plan to work. As Y/N walked through the deserted street, it wasn't long before she found a lanky MP who had a bewildered look in his eyes. Inevitably a newbie. Y/N quickly fixed her hair and brushed off her clothes before taking a deep breath and walking up to the new MP, "Excuse me, sir, have you seen my daughter anywhere?", she said while forcing tears to well up in her eyes.

Immediately the soldier began to panic, clearly not expecting this interaction nor her tears, "Ahh-- no miss I have not...", he began as his hand sheepishly ran through his hair and he looked around for any sign of a child, or another MP to help him out.

"Please... she's only 6! I don't know what I'd do if I lost her--", Y/N's voice quivered as she began to pace back and forth in front of him, "Marley!!", she cried out to make her act more realistic.

"I--I can help you find her!", the soldier said as he began to walk down the street and shouting out the name of the daughter that didn't exist. 

Y/N and the new MP walked a few paces before Y/N exclaimed, "Oh I think I hear footsteps in the alley!", and quickly rushed into the darkened alley, hoping he would take the bait. It wasn't long before she heard footsteps following hers into the dark and deserted alley.

"That's funny I don't hear--", the MP began before he was cut off by a right hook flying toward his face. Y/N was surprised to see him fall over like a sack of potatoes, completely unconscious. She winced as she kicked him in the head for good measure, but she had to do what she had to do. She grabbed him under the arms and dragged him back into a hidden part of the alley and quickly took his jacket, which had the Military Police emblem she needed, the strange leather straps lining his body, and the rifle that clattered onto the ground next to him. Y/N quickly put on the uniform, surprised at how well it actually fit her, before jogging back to the street. She peered from side to side to make sure nobody was watching before she exited onto the street and made her way to another MP station.

After a few minutes of walking, Y/N finally reached a checkpoint of Military Police and she saw huge crates lining the streets. It had to be the new gear. As she approached the boxes, hoping that nobody would see her, she stopped dead in her tracks when a booming voice called out to her.

"Cadet, what are you doing here?"

Y/N was frozen in fear before she quickly spun around on her heels and her fist flung to her chest in a salute. She had seen enough MPs in her lifetime to not only be able to mock them in front of Levi and Furlan but to hopefully successfully pass as one. "I seem to be the last one in my squadron to receive gear, sir!", Y/N replied loudly and praying that this commanding officer wouldn't see through her lies. She saw his eyebrows furrow as he looked past her, to the crates behind her, and back to her.

"Who is your squadron leader, cadet?", the officer asked while taking a step toward her.

"Section commander James, sir!", Y/N called out. She was taking a huge risk as she didn't know if the commander she named was even assigned to this area of the Underground. She felt her heart in her throat as the officer eyed her up and down before he let out a sigh.

"Of course... I'll have to talk to him about singling out new cadets like this. Go grab your gear and return to your squadron", the officer said as he marched off.

Y/N let out a breath of relief as she turned and quickly made her way to the gear. She was met by another young MP, but he was much bigger and not as scrawny as the one she left beaten up in the alley. As she got close enough for him to notice her, she smiled, "Hey... I'm here to pick up the new gear?"

The young man smiled at her, "You're just in luck, this is the last one! Do you need any help getting it on? It's been a while since we've worn ODM gear in training, right?"

Y/N simply nodded and smiled. The less she talked, the less trouble she'd find herself in later. She didn't want to get caught up in too many lies. Y/N moved around as the cadet in front of her took the gear out of the box and she was finally able to get a good look at it. It was a bit bulky and she could see the bladed handles sitting crossed on the floor. Her eyes glistened with curiosity and awe as the cadet helped her get the gear on. Y/N stumbled a bit when the weight of the ODM gear fully settled on her, earning a chuckle from the cadet.

"It definitely takes a little bit to get used to again," he said brightly, being none the wiser, "You still remember how to use it though, right?"

Y/N's eyebrows furrowed as she scratched her head in feigned concentration, "I'm pretty sure I do but could you remind me just in case?"

The cadet shook his head and laughed at her cute behavior before explaining, "You use the top triggers to shoot the anchors, and the bottom triggers to activate the retraction gears and gas. Nothing too hard."

"Right," Y/N shook her head, "I had the triggers mixed up in my head, thanks for reminding me!"

Y/N latched the grips to her side and gave the poor idiot cadet a wave of gratitude before she quickly made her way back down the way she came and ducking into a different alley than before, giving her the privacy to finally investigate the new gear she had practically waltzed in and stolen. The handles fit snuggly in her hands and the weight of the gear had become unnoticeable as it was mainly centered on her hips. As Y/N was admiring the new gear, she heard yelling and running from the street, she turned to see what the commotion was: it was the cadet she had knocked out earlier.

"She took my clothes!!", the lanky cadet ran to the ODM supply depot, "That Underground rat!"

Y/N quickly ran in the other direction down the alley but she could already hear the familiar whizzing from earlier. It wouldn't be long before the Military Police caught up to her, and who knows what would happen to her after. Y/N knew the only way out was to fly out using the gear. While she was running down the alley, the two grips firmly clutched in her hands, she pressed the triggers while aiming her waist toward a wall and she saw the anchors fly out from beside her. When she saw them dig into the wall, she pressed the second triggers and was harshly yanked from the ground toward the wall. Y/N stumbled onto the roof and quickly looked behind her to see her pursuers point to her location. She ran down the length of the roof before she jumped off, aiming at the roof across the street, and using the ODM gear to propel her that way.

Y/N was beginning to get used to the basic mechanics of the gear but she could tell that some of the more experienced cadets were catching up to her, so she had to get creative. Y/N ran and flung herself off the roof and just as she was about to faceplant on the ground, she shot a single anchor toward the building to her right, causing her to take a sharp right turn. The cadets weren't expecting such a move so they sailed right past her, looks of shock and anger flashed on their faces as Y/N quickly continued down the alley before taking another sharp turn. She knew she couldn't outrun these cadets, not in her inexperienced state, but she was running out of options. Y/N dropped down to the ground and was running through the backstreets and she spotted an open window to her left. Looking around and seeing nobody in sight, she quickly yanked herself up there and dropped inside the window, and leaned against the wall trying to catch her breath.

A few seconds later she heard the MP cadets whizz by, shouting directions to each other trying to find her. She stayed silent as she heard footsteps on the roof above her. Y/N covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her breathing. After what seemed like an eternity, she heard the sounds of ODM gear and shouting cadets fade off into the distance. Y/N just sat there, unmoving. She looked down at the handles, which were still in her hands, and let out a soft chuckle. She did it. After a few minutes of sitting, catching her breath, and listening out for any MP cadets that might still be on her tail, she finally decided that it was safe enough to leave. Y/N stood up and brushed the dust and dirt off her pants and ditched the Military Police jacket she had stolen earlier. She scanned the room for anything she could possibly use as a disguise and to her surprise, she found a large cloak hanging in an empty closet. When Y/N grabbed it, it was coated in so much dust that it caused her to sneeze when she shook it out.

"This is disgusting...." she said as she hauled the cloak over her, making sure to cover her gear, and put the hood on. Taking one last look around the room, making sure that nobody had seen her, she propelled herself out of the window as quickly and quietly as she could. Once she reached the ground, she hilted her handles and held her cloak tightly as she made a run for it back to the house.

As she got close to the abandoned plaza, Y/N decided to try her gear out again. She sent the two anchors up to the highest point of the building across from the house. As the gas propelled her forward, she flew at the building with such speed, the cloak whipped behind her and her hood fell off the top of her head. She braced her legs for impact with the building but she was not ready for the amount of force that rocked her body. She heard a crack and she felt something warm trickle down the side of her leg and she cried out in pain. Knowing that people heard, she quickly aimed toward the house, where she knew she'd be safe, and flew down with less force than last time. When Y/N landed, her body crumpled like a piece of paper. That's when she finally saw the blood steadily flowing out of a large cut on her leg, caused by her bone piercing through the skin. Circles and darkness flooded her vision but she still tried to get up. Any effort on her part led to her getting more dizzy and more spots to dot her vision. She somehow managed to crawl to the bottom of the steps that led to the house before she succumbed to the pain pulsing through her body. As she leaned back on the stairs and rested her head, her vision losing focus, she heard the door open and a bright light flooded her vision. Y/N saw two shadows rush toward her and she felt herself being picked up and dragged up the stairs.

"Y/N.....Y/N!!! Oi brat, listen to me!", Y/N felt a cold hand on her face turn hers to meet a pair of stern yet worried eyes, "What the fuck did you do?"

Y/N tried to answer but the only words that came out of her mouth seemed like gibberish. She had never been hurt this bad so the pain was taking a large toll on her. She heard the water running and she used all of her strength to turn her head to see a hunched over Furlan over the sink. Soon the water stopped as Furlan turned back to her, his eyebrows furrowed in worry but his eyes illuminated in fear, and rushed over with a damp rag and bandages.

"That.... that better not be.... the rag I... dusted ....the house with ....earlier," Y/N barely managed to slur out. She hissed in pain as she felt the washcloth being pressed into her leg. 

"Something is definitely broken, Levi", Furlan called out to him as he was pacing up and down the room, "We have to call the Doctor before it gets infected and for him to set it back."

Furlan's eyes searched Y/N's in concern, "Y/N what happened? What are you wearing? Where did you get this gear?", his eyes flickered down to the ODM gear strapped to her waist.

Before Y/N could answer, she saw Levi walk over to where she was seated and he squatted down next to her, "Have you completely lost your fucking mind, Y/N?"Levi shook his head in frustration, inevitably thinking about how to call the Doctor and explain this to him, "First you get fucking blood all over the house, second, you show up in fucking military gear?"

Using all the strength she could muster, Y/N met Levi's gaze and rolled her eyes, "I show up with amazing new tech and a broken leg and all you care about is blood on the floor?", she tried to move her leg into a more comfortable position but winced as pain shot all the way up her leg. Furlan was working on unlatching the ODM gear from her body and Y/N let out a breath of relief as the weight was finally removed from her legs and hips.

Y/N's attitude caused anger to flare up in Levi as he harshly yanked her chin back to face him, "Y/N don't you understand what danger your put yourself in? What kind of danger you might have put us in?", his eyes were gleaming ferociously with rage she had never seen before.

"Levi, maybe let's focus on getting her leg fixed before you chew her out..." Furlan tried to reason with him.

Levi's eyes darted down to Y/N's leg, which was mildly bent at an awkward angle, "Yes, Furlan, I agree. Let's fix her leg."

Y/N's eyes widened with panic as she saw Levi reach for her leg. She was too shocked and weak to reach out and stop him as Levi harshly pushed the bone back into place. Pain flooded her entire body as she shrieked out in pain. Furlan winced but Levi simply rolled his eyes as he looked at his blood-covered hands, "Furlan, get the Doctor to help with stitches, I'll stay here with Y/N and get things cleaned."

Furlan nodded and stood up to wash his hands and not soon after he ran out the door to find the Doctor.

As soon as Furlan left, Levi looked up from his hands at Y/N, his eyes softer than earlier and filled with concern and fear. Something Y/N has never seen in his eyes before. No matter what has happened, she has never known Levi to be afraid of anything. "Why are you so fucking stupid, you fucking brat", he muttered under his breath while wiping the blood off his hands with a spare rag lying next to him, "Do you know what could've happened, Y/N?" His eyes glared at Y/N as if begging her to answer the rhetorical question.

Y/N's eyes left his as she looked over to the gear lying alone in the corner, "This is going to change everything", she said weakly before finally forcing her eyes to meet his again. Suddenly, she saw a glimmer of vulnerability in his eyes, just like on the roof. 

"Y/N... I can't lose you. I don't know what I'd do if I did," Levi said barely above a whisper. Y/N's eyes widened in shock and surprise as she took in his words.

"Levi, it's just a broken leg... it's not like I'm dying," she said as she let out a dry chuckle, still taken aback by his sudden vulnerability and worry for her, "It's going to take more than this to get rid of me." Although Y/N's attitude was trying to be playful, her eyes shone with appreciation and awe. She searched Levi's stormy eyes, which were shielded by his furrowed eyebrows. She gently, and almost hesitantly, reached out to cup his face. Levi instinctively moved his head back in confusion before Y/N finally rested her hand on his cheek. Levi's mouth fell agape before he quickly shut it. He moved his hand and gripped her wrist in an attempt to move her hand away, but surprisingly he wasn't pushing it away just yet. His stormy eyes finally met hers. Anger, worry, and fear swam in his eyes as they searched hers for something. Y/N didn't know what he was looking for but she felt the grip on her wrist tighten.

Y/N gently rubbed her thumb against Levi's face, "Levi... I am not going anywhere. I promise", she whispered.

Seemingly content with her answer, Levi cleared his throat and moved Y/N's hand away from his face, letting out a soft "Tch" as he rose to his feet. "When Furlan gets back with the Doctor, you have some fucking explaining to do, brat", he said as he left to grab more clean rags to keep the bleeding to a minimum. Y/N simply rested her head against the wall behind her and closed her eyes as she smiled softly to herself. The soft, warm feeling rising in her chest made her think she was starting to care about Levi more than she thought. And something told her that maybe he was starting to care more about her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late-ish update!! Had a little bit of a writer's block with how to start this chapter so if it's not as good I'm sorry!  
> But! good news! I will be updating with chapter 5 (on schedule!) tomorrow so get excited!!  
> Again, thanks for the comments and definitely keep them coming... they really do brighten my day!! :)


	5. 5

It wasn't long before Furlan came back with the Doctor. Y/N and Levi had managed to stop the blooding and elevate her leg. Levi was quickly getting to work cleaning the blood off the floor while the Doctor kneeled next to Y/N to check out her leg.

"Oh boy, looks like you took a nasty tumble since the last time I've seen you, Y/N", the Doctor remarked while gingerly unwrapping her leg. She winced slightly at the sensation of fabric lifting from her gash and looked away when fresh blood began to pool.

"Y--You remember me, Doctor Kranz?" Y/N seethed out through her teeth in pain. She squeezed her eyes shut when she felt a cool yet stinging sensation of a wet rag cleaning her wound.

"Of course...", the Doctor replied without lifting his gaze, "with such an unorthodox first meeting, you're an incredibly hard person to forget."

Y/N's mind raced back to that unfateful day. A day she'd rather forget but lingers in the back of her mind like a hazy fog. While time heals all wounds, she refused to believe that it could heal one as deep as this. Y/N was uncharacteristically silent as her mind transported her back to that moment, at the foot of her father's bed, the moment where she left him and her mother to die. There was nothing she could do to save them. Tears prickled her eyes as she thought about her mother and how she couldn't see her dream.

Almost as if he could read her mind, the Doctor quietly chimed in, "She was at peace, Y/N"

Y/N's eyes blinked rapidly and fluttered down to him as she watched him continue to clean her wound before searching in his bag for supplies. "What?", she barely managed to stutter out under her breath.

"Your mother", the Doctor finally lifted his head to reveal a soft yet distant look on his face, "she was at peace when she passed." The Doctor finally pulled out a needle and some thread and Y/N's eyes widened in panic as his words flew in one ear out the other. She scrambled back at the sight of the large shiny needle and began to mutter a string of incomprehensible words and swears.

The Doctor's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and frustration, "Y/N we have to close your wound... the longer it is exposed the more likely it is to get infected."

"Doc--Doctor you don't understand, I can't do needles.... you come any closer with that thing and I will scream," Y/N started, her heart rate starting to race. She wiggled and squirmed but each movement of her leg sent pain through her body as she whelped and tried to stifle her cries. She looked around but Furlan and Levi were nowhere in sight. Y/N looked at the Doctor with pleading eyes, "Please... I can't do this alone...", her voice cracked. The pain of her leg, the pain of her memories, it was hitting her all at once.

Something about Y/N's tone made the Doctor take a breath as he saw her reddened eyes, tears threatening to spill, and her shaky breaths. He nodded solemnly as he rose to his feet and quietly left the room, leaving her alone with her overwhelming thoughts. Y/N thought she could do this alone but the world began to spin around her and her head began to pound. Her breaths began to become more ragged and panicked as she shut her eyes tightly and harshly set her head against the wall behind her. It was taking every ounce of strength in her body not to fully break down. She couldn't be weak now, especially while she was physically incapacitated. Her thoughts were rushing a million miles a minute as pictures of her father lying dead in his bed began to dance in front of her. She tried to shake them away but with each disregard of the last thought, three new ones took their place. She didn't notice two sets of footsteps return as she let out a whimper and silent tears slid down her face.

"Y/N... are you okay? How is the pain?" the Doctor asked urgently as he quickly kneeled beside her again to check on her leg. Without moving, Y/N continued to breathe shaky breaths until she felt someone slide down next to her and take her hand. Her eyes opened in surprise and looked down at her hand to see another holding it and gently tracing circles into it: Levi's. Her eyes met his as she searched for a reprieve from the mental battle she was facing. Her other hand reached and clasped the locket that hung around her neck tightly. Levi's flickered down to her hand and then back up to her gaze, nodding slightly in understanding. He took her hand in his and held it before gingerly placing her hand on her chest, allowing her to feel her heartbeat.

The two sat in silence until Y/N's shaky breaths regained stability and she looked at the Doctor who was sterilizing the needle, "Doctor Kranz, how much is this going to hurt?"

The Doctor looked back at her, down to her leg, and she almost missed the slight grimace he made before he let out a sigh and shot her a tight-lipped smile. Y/N gulped as her grip tightened around Levi's hand.

"Tch, of all things you're afraid of needles?", Levi sarcastically let out, which earned a glare from Y/N.

"Watch it, Ackerman, or I won't be the only one needing stitches today", Y/N shot right back venomously. She didn't take too kindly for her fear and vulnerability being used against her in a moment like this. Clear fear and panic flooded her face against her futile efforts to stay calm. She tried to pull her hand away from Levi's while averting her gaze only to find that he was still hanging on. 

"Hey... look, I'm right here. Just focus on me," Levi's soft coarse voice guided Y/N's mind away from the needle perched inches away from her injury, "You are safe. You are fine. Nothing can hurt you. I won't let anything hurt you."

Y/N let Levi's voice and his hand rubbing soothing circles into hers flood her senses. She winced and shuddered when she felt the needle prick her skin as the Doctor began to suture her wound. Tears flowed down her face as Y/N trained her eyes on the ceiling and was taking deep breaths in and out of her mouth. She shut her eyes tightly when she felt the needle prick again but was surprised by the feeling of Levi's hand gently wiping the tears off her face. This continued for a few minutes, with the Doctor chiming in with encouraging remarks every now and again while Levi was trying to keep Y/N calm and centered. When the Doctor finished suturing, he began to rewrap the injury in fresh gauze while relaying some upkeep instructions, "Your leg should be healed in about a month or two, so don't try and do anything dangerous in the meantime", he said while rising to his feet and cleaning up his materials.

Y/N, still processing the Doctor's orders and advice, glanced at Levi who was still staring intently at her, but not with a coldness like he usually does. Before Y/N could say anything, Levi cut in, "Y/N I meant everything I said... I won't let anything hurt you. Except for you, I clearly stop you from being a fucking idiot."

Y/N looked at Levi with an exasperated look, "Way to kick a woman when she's down you asshole", which caused him to roll his eyes. Levi rose to his feet and dusted off his pants as he walked over to the Doctor and shared a few private words that Y/N couldn't hear before he walked him to the door. Y/N huffed as she realized that nobody was going to help her to her feet. She struggled and used her hands to try and push herself off the wall. She was beginning to slowly get to her feet until her hand slipped and she fell forward onto her face with a thud. A few seconds later, she heard footsteps from the back of the house rush toward the kitchen and soon heard Furlan exclaim in surprise, "Oh shit, Y/N!!"

He rushed to your side and gently rolled you over onto your back as he worried looked up and down, "Are you okay? Are you all sewn up? I can't deal with blood so that's why--", Furlan frantically started before Y/N gently placed a hand on his chest before laughing softly.

"Furlan, you're fine. Just-- can you help me up please?"

Furlan nodded and smiled as he gently helped her sit up and wrapped her arm around him as he lifted her to her feet. Together, they limped toward the kitchen tables where Y/N sat in a chair and propped her other in the other. The wooden splint holding her leg in place felt bulky and weird, a feeling she'd have to get used to for the next month or so. As she was curiously looking at her leg, the pain having now subsided to a dull and aching throb, Furlan cleared his throat as he sat across from her. "So... uh... do you want to--", Furlan began to gently ask before they both heard the door slam shut forcefully and quick footsteps rush into the kitchen. Levi was standing against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, unamused and with a glare in his eyes once more, the vulnerability and softness from earlier gone.

"So, Y/N, what the fuck did you get yourself into?", Levi chided while glancing at the ODM gear lying in a heap in the corner of the room. Furlan scrutinizingly looked at the gear, trying to analyze each and every piece of the machine. Y/N looked at the gear and then down to her leg before letting out a large sigh before looking up at the two men across from her.

"It's a long story...", she began while sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck.

"We have time", Levi said sternly and Y/N knew that he wasn't going anywhere until he had answers. Beneath his glare, Y/N saw the care in his eyes that she saw from earlier. Levi cared. She had her moment of vulnerability and she felt safe around him, whether she was physically vulnerable or emotionally, she knew that Levi would be there. She found herself getting lost in her thoughts so she quickly blinked and ran her hand through her tangled hair and recounted the events from today as Furlan and Levi listened intently.

When Y/N finished her story, she looked up to find Levi's eyes trained on the ground in deep thought and Furlan was nervously running his hands through his hair and tapping his foot on the ground. Her eyes flickered between the two men before she commented, "Look I know it was stupid--"

"It was so fucking stupid Y/N do you even think--", Levi stated angrily before Furlan's head whipped around and gave him a cold stare which caused Levi to stop dead in his tracks and take a deep breath.

"Let her fucking finish, Levi", Furlan said snappily, surprising Y/N. He turned back to her and nodded, but his eyes were no less intense than Levi's. Both of them were upset but they had different ways of showing it. Levi was very broody and wouldn't hesitate to lash out and let his displeasure and disappointment be known. But Furlan was the one to sit and analyze everything. Generally a very understanding person, Y/N rarely found Furlan angry. She could tell he was trying to connect the dots in your story with logic to rationalize why you'd put yourself in such danger. But ultimately, he was disappointed. She could tell he felt as if his trust was betrayed.

"It was stupid but it was a now or never moment. This new ODM gear -- that's what it's called -- was unguarded and it would've been easier to steal now than later. This is what is going to get us a leg up on our jobs and finally get us out of here", Y/N reasoned with them. She saw both of their eyes grow wide at the mention of getting to the surface as they glanced back at the gear in a corner. "If we can train on this now and get used to how it works, whenever the Military Police gets another shipment in, we can grab another set and then another. Then, imagine how much easier jobs will be."

"And how does it work?", Furlan asked while walking over to the gear. He kneeled down and took one of the handles and examined it closely, "And how do you expect to teach us when you're leg is broken?"

"Easy, I'll just yell at you like Levi does" Y/N joked while earning a glare from Levi as he turned to watch Furlan examine the gear, "Basically, the first trigger sends out an anchoring hook and the second trigger propels you toward it with the gas while also pulling you with the retraction mechanism. That is why the gear is fast and it allows for agility. There are so many possibilities and things to learn."

Y/N's eyes darted between the two men as her eyebrows furrowed in worry. She did what she thought was right but look at where it got her. She knew that her leg would be a burden especially on jobs, but she was determined to continue to pull her weight. "And as for my leg, we can use it as a real ruse or something for pickpocketing--", Y/N began.

"No. You're not going anywhere until you're healed," Levi spun on his heel and looked at Y/N incredulously as if he'd been slapped, "I can't believe you're crazy enough to think that I'd let you risk your safety again while you literally cannot walk."

"Levi I don't want to sit around and not pull my weight, I need to be useful," Y/N raised her voice to argue, feeling anger boiling up inside of her, "I'm not some fucking porcelain doll or a housewife."

Levi just shook his head angrily and walked away, not even bothering to look at Y/N. Y/N simply sighed and put her head in her hands and once she heard Levi's door close, she let out an annoyed groan. She gently banged her head against the table in frustration until she heard the gentle scrape of the chair beside her.

"You know, Y/N, you really scared us... we were worried about you," Furlan stated while placing a calming hand on her arm, "Especially Levi." The mention of Levi's name caused Y/N to peak her eye out over her arm, causing Furlan to chuckle a little. "He really cares about you, Y/N. A lot. I don't think I've ever seen him get this emotional over anything."

"You call that emotional? Him threatening to keep me under house arrest?", Y/N scoffed, "I am my own person and I can make the choices that are the best for me." Y/N shook her head as she leaned back in her chair and looked at Furlan, "He treats me like a child sometimes."

"Well... to be fair...", Furlan began sheepishly which earned a push from you, "But in all seriousness, Y/N, he's opened up to you more than anyone else. Levi doesn't let his guard down for anyone. You mean something to him....", Furlan's eyes followed Y/N's as he saw her lost in a daze and staring down the hallway towards Levi's room and he finally connected the dots, "... and he means something to you."

Y/N nearly choked on her spit and fell out of her chair, "Furlan what are you going on about?", she said shocked as she tried to regain her composure. When she looked back at him, he was just smiling smugly and she just rolled her eyes, "We've had a moment where we connected and he opened up and that's it, Furlan. Nothing else."

Furlan just cocked his eyebrows before deciding to drop it, knowing that it was impossible to argue the point any longer, "Do you need help to your room or would you prefer to crawl?" 

Y/N rolled her eyes at Furlan and accepted his hand as she gently got up and they hobbled to her room. As they passed Levi's, Y/N noticed there was no light coming from under the door so she simply assumed he had gone to bed. Her mind kept going back to the tender moment's they've shared together and Furlan's comments from earlier but she tried to shake them off as they finally reached her room, "I can take it from here, thanks Furlan", she shot him a gentle smile as she bid him goodnight and closed the door. She hobbled over to her bed and sat down, staring out the window. Lost in thought, Y/N went through the motions of getting ready for bed as much as she could without moving her leg too much. 

After a few minutes, and a lot of groaning and swearing, Y/N finally managed to get ready for bed. As she sat on her bed, her mind kept flashing back to earlier. When Levi held her hand. When his soft hand gently wiped her tears. His soft eyes gazing into hers. The comfort of his voice lulling her into a sense of security. Y/N buried her hands in frustration at why she couldn't get him out of her head. She couldn't understand how he'd go from hot to cold so quickly. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't figure him out. Deep down, she knew Levi cared. Y/N and Furlan were Levi's friends. They only had each other. But she didn't know where she stood with him. Swimming in her thoughts, Y/N got up to open the window to try and get some air. As she unlatched the window, she heard a soft knock on the door. Confused as to why Furlan would be at her door, she limped over to the door and opened it not to Furlan, but to Levi.

Y/N scoffed and rolled her eyes, "What do you want, asshole?", she was still angry from before but was willing to hear what Levi had to say. She was surprised to see him at her door, especially because she knew how strict Levi was about his sleep schedule.

"Cool it with the attitude, brat, I came here to.... apologize", Levi hesitated as if he was choosing his words carefully.

"Well, If Furlan put you up to this then don't bother, you can go back to bed--", Y/N began to close the door in annoyance before Levi stopped it with his foot. Y/N looked down at the foot blocking the door and then back up to Levi. She opened her mouth, ready to argue, until she saw that Levi didn't have his usual look of indifference on his face, but sincerity. Y/N paused until she let out a sigh before opening her door, "Come in..."

Levi walked in and gently shut the door behind him as Y/N limped to her bed, not even looking back at him. As she neared her bed, she stumbled over a loose floorboard and nearly lost her balance until she felt Levi's hands steadying her by her waist. His touch sent butterflies through her stomach and it made her head spin. She froze for a second before her face turned bright red and she continued to limp over to her bed. Furlan's comments from earlier replayed in her mind as she glanced at Levi, who also had a pink glow to his face. Y/N watched as Levi walked over to the window and leaned on the sill, gazing out into the lamp-filled streets. 

"Most of the time, I hate the Underground. It's rotten and disgusting and it reeks of death and decay. But nights like this...", Levi stared up at the top of the cavern, the reflected moonlight and lamplight making his eyes shine, "One of the few constants ever guaranteed to us."

Y/N sat and listened curiously, shifting her weight occasionally which caused the springs to creak. Levi stood, unmoving, like a statue. His bangs fell just in front of his eyes. The sharp contrast between his pale skin and his black hair caused him to look much older than he was. His jawline and other chiseled features were highlighted by the streetlight, giving him an almost ethereal glow. Levi dipped his head and sighed before turning to face Y/N, who quickly averted her gaze to the door. 

"Levi-- where do I stand with you? One moment you show me you care and then next you are as cold as the day I met you..", Y/N stated quietly, her fingers fiddling with the material of her blanket. She heard his feet shuffle as Levi made his way over to her and nodded to the extra space on her bed. Y/N glanced between him and the spot before moving over a little to allow him more room to sit down. As Levi sat down, he rubbed his knees with both of his hands, almost in a nervous manner. 

"Nothing in the Underground is promised to us. Not food, not shelter, not even our lives. So... to have something constant, whether it is a place to sleep, a familiar sight, or... even a person," he faltered for a second, stealing a glance at Y/N who was staring at her hands toying with the fabric beneath them, "it's a gift. However, you could lose it all so fast."

"Levi--", Y/N began with a nervous breath, finally breaking her gaze away to look at him, "What are you trying to say?"

Levi let out a frustrated sigh and ran his hands through his hair and rested his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands, "Damn it Y/N... I want you to be a constant in my life."

Y/N's mouth fell open slightly in shock before she shook her head trying to wrap her mind around her words, "Then why do you--"

"Treat you like a child?", Levi cut her off as he lifted his head from his hands to look at her. He turned his body so he was fully facing her, "I don't. I--", Levi huffed in annoyance, "I'm protective because I can't lose you. I can't lose another person I care about this much."

Y/N's eyes searched Levi's as she took his hand in hers, "I understand that but I am capable of surviving too, Levi. But you can't just keep your friend locked up just because you don't want them hurt", Y/N reasoned with him and with herself. Friends look after friends. Friends are constants. That's all this was.

"Y/N...", she saw Levi's hand hesitantly reach out to cup her face, as if his body was telling him yes but his mind was screaming no. When Y/N felt his soft touch on her face again, her eyes fluttered in shock and she couldn't stop herself from sighing. "I care about you a lot more than a friend...", Levi barely whispered out his words echoing through Y/N's mind.

"I--", Y/N stuttered as her eyes flickered back and forth between his. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find the right words to say. Levi's words, his hand on her face, his soft eyes. Y/N's eyes were getting lost in his trying to think of what to say. She cared about Levi more than a friend. But she knew that this was a dangerous gamble they were both taking. Nothing is guaranteed. They had both lost everything in the Underground, and yet somehow they managed to find something new. Something filled with hope. Something that Y/N didn't want to let go. Sitting in the thick silence, Y/N quickly looked down at Levi's lips and let out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding. She saw a quick flash of surprise in Levi's eyes as he noticed before he quickly cast a look of his own down to her lips, gently biting on his own. 

Time seemed to slow as they leaned in, closing the distance between them. Y/N's eyes fluttered closed as she felt Levi's soft lips graze hers, his hand still gently cupping her face. The kiss sent fireworks throughout her body and all the thoughts running through her mind seemed to stop. In that moment, it was only them and nothing else mattered. After a few seconds, Y/N pulled away to look at Levi and she smiled softly, "You will always have me, Levi"

The two of them sat there, looking into each other's eyes full of hope and fear. Constants were a gamble, a risk, in the Underground. Only the foolish get attached because everybody knows nothing is more painful than losing someone you care about to the unforgiving Underground. Y/N and Levi are taking that risk knowing that they've already lost everything. Dedicating themselves to each other, dedicating their hearts to hope, is the only constant worth having. 

As Levi left to go back to his room, Y/N walked slowly back to the window, staring out into the gentle moonlight once more. Her mind swam with thoughts and her heart fluttered every time Levi crossed her mind. Her hand rested on top of her locket as she gazed up and whispered, "Mom, Dad, if you can hear me, or if you're even there, I understand now." She understood the hope they had, the light in their eyes, their dream. Not just for a life out of this hellhole but a life with constants and guarantees. She shut her eyes as her hand tightened around her locket, "I can't lose him. I won't lose him. Not like I lost you." With a tight breath, Y/N closed the window and gingerly lied down in her bed, allowing herself to be lulled to sleep by the ghost of Levi's hand on hers and the silent promise they shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes I'm sorry that this is a whole week late!! A lot of personal things came up such as big career tests and things and also I hated writing this chapter because bleh it's not the best but!! hopefully, you enjoyed it!!  
> I will try to stick to updating this once a week instead of twice a week moving forward!  
> I appreciate ALL of your comments!! They make my heart soar!! I am so happy that you guys like it and definitely keep them coming! You guys rock :))  
> \--  
> Also it's 2am so sorry if my proofreading sucks, I'll come back to it later in the day!! okie bye guys!


End file.
